Listen, Love, Repeat

  I had the privilege of receiving a preview pdf of a wonderful book, Listen, Love, Repeat: Other-Centered Living in a Self-Centered World by Karen Ehman that is officially available today. The title of the book immediately intrigued and attracted me. I know that I have a tendency to be selfish and self-centered and was hoping this book would help me to shift my focus more outwardly toward those around me.

  This is a very practical book with inspiring stories and examples that motivated me to try to be more intentional in looking for opportunities to serve those around me. I liked that the chapters were divided into different groups of people in our lives and specific suggestions on how to love them well. I pre-ordered a copy and look forward to using this book as a reference point as I seek to be more intentional in my relationships.

  I want to share some of the encouragement and inspiration with you so I will share some of my favorite quotes from the book. Enjoy!

Only when we love and share and serve, as Scripture commands us, can we live life on purpose, embracing the reason God brought us to Earth in the first place. As we reach out not only to friends and family but to strangers, the lonely, and the less-than-lovely, we will learn to mirror Christ and to let his light shine so that he gets all the glory.

  I have become increasingly aware over the years that my focus should be on loving God and loving others. A very high calling but also a very important one. When doing things, perhaps I should ask myself – does this show love for God and/or others? Only doing things that answer the question affirmatively would certainly save a lot of heartache.

  I enjoyed that Karen consistently reminded me that our reason for loving and serving is to point to Jesus. Our whole lives are supposed to be lived in a way that show Christ’s love to the world around us. I know I am sometimes motivated by my personal glory or the approval of others. I appreciated this check of my heart to my underlying desires.

Paul instructs us to help to lighten the load of others, because when we encourage, cheer, help, guide, or simply do life with another person, we let them see a little snippet of Christ and his love. Our acts don’t have to be complicated or grand. Even simple acts of service and offerings of time can have a monumental effect in the life of another.

  I like the reminder that we don’t have to make grand gestures all of the time to show love and be effective in showing Christ’s love. A listening ear can be a great blessing to someone who needs to share what’s on their heart. I know how encouraged I am when someone takes a little time to reach out and let me know that they were thinking about me or praying for me. Being told that you are on someone’s mind can be a huge lift for your spirit.

The pause and preparation were good for my soul. They reminded me that relationships require work, that remembering isn’t always easy – and that sometimes sweat is involved in listening and loving.

  It is good to remember that we should be covering our desires to serve, and subsequent efforts, in prayer. God knows the hearts of others better than we do and can show us the most effective way to love and serve someone. If we will be sensitive to his leading, we can love in meaningful ways, even though it may seem insignificant to us.

Living a life of welcome – opening both your heart and your home – means your stuff gets used. And reused. Over and over again. Your items get nicked and scratched. Your carpet and rugs and linens get stained. While this doesn’t mean we don’t try to make our surroundings pleasant, it does mean we learn to accept some degree of imperfection. Well-used items often mean that we have loved well.

  I know that this is true, but sometimes it’s a struggle for me. I like the things I have in my home and want them to continue to look nice, but if I am really going to love people (and especially families with young kids) I have to expect that some damage will be done. Perhaps I can remember that these loved people are giving my home more character. It is definitely worth losing a book here and there to people who might be encouraged by the message within. It’s just stuff. And it’s meant to be used to love others. Everything should have a use and a purpose (even if the purpose is just to look pretty or create a welcoming, peace-filled environment). If I can keep a love-focused attitude, then I can keep my hands open to sharing and using my possessions for God’s purposes.

Jesus modeled upside-down living and loving. In addition to loving people who were socially marginalized, Jesus loved those who hated and despised him. Those who treated him terribly. He encouraged his followers to do the same, without excuse.

  This can be a tall order. We all love caring for those who also care for us. It’s the ones that rub us the wrong way or are outright contentious or rude that cause us to struggle against what Jesus has asked us to do. We all have at least one person in our life we’d like to pretend does not exist. But if we are not consistently kind and present, how will they know Christ’s love for them. Obviously we should not willingly submit to abusive relationships. We should be wise in our relationships.

The only way to go about loving the difficult is to expect nothing in return. If we do good in order to gain accolades or to receive praise, or expect to convert someone and have a great redemptive story to tell, we will quickly give up. We love others out of obedience to God. Then we leave the results to him. When your expectation bar is lowered all the way down, you will not have to fear being disappointed by their lack of response. So expect nothing in return. Zero.

  This is a big challenge for me, and probably many others. We are results oriented. We want acknowledgement for our hard work. We want others to know what we have done, to be raised up. But Jesus wasn’t like that. He was seeking God’s glory, not his own. And, if I really love God and others, then my glory should be the last thing on my mind. I can’t say this won’t be a constant battle, but it is one I am willing to wage.

If you long to be a person who scatters God’s kindness, surround yourself with others who have the same desire. You can share ideas, pray for each other, and encourage each other during those times when you think the effort simply isn’t worth it. Christian support is crucial if you wish to live a life that follows and reflects Jesus.

 I love this reminder that loving others should be done in community. We need people to encourage, support and inspire us or we will be tempted to give up when it becomes challenging or tiring. We don’t need to be continuously expending energy and effort without pausing to refill and refresh ourselves.

I think this book is amazing. If you were encouraged or inspired by the quotes you read, I would highly recommend getting a copy of this book for yourselves.  

Is Jesus Enough?

Here’s a follow up from my last post.

01-11-14

Dear God,

 I think you are finally getting through to me. My mind keeps harping on this best friend thing. Why do I want one? Because I want to be known intimately. I want to be able to air my dirty laundry – my shortcomings, struggles, temptations and weaknesses – and still receive acceptance, love and compassion from the one who hears it all. I want someone who can say “I understand. I can help.” Saying all of this to you, I know feel kind of silly. You are that someone. You are able and willing to be all that and more if I will just let you. You are enough. I keep telling you that “I need this” and “I need that” – that I need things other than you, things apart from you. And you are kindly and lovingly showing me that no, I don’t. You know my needs and you want to meet them with your vast stores of love, compassion, acceptance and wisdom. You are always with me. You will never forsake me. You can answer and help and encourage. You will always listen You are enough for me. Thank you, Jesus, for showing me that I have not internalized this truth. Help me to remember this truth and live it. 

                                                                                                       Love,

                                                                                                      Megan

Seasons of Life

Image by nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I know that I am blessed to have the opportunity to stay at home with my children while they are young. I have loved watching them grow and develop and reach new milestones. I know there are women out there who would love to be at home as well but are unable to for a variety of reasons. Nonetheless, it is not always exactly what I imagined or easy-as-pie every day. I know that our lives are full of varying seasons, none of which last forever (good or bad). In this season of parenting young children, I have continued to receive blessings that help me along the journey. One of those blessings are other women in my life.

Being home with two small children can hinder one’s social life, especially if one is breastfeeding one of these children and said child chooses not to accept bottles. A child who needs to feed every two, three or four hours tends to put your day on a schedule that you really don’t want to vary from. And we must not forget the naps in between these feedings. You don’t really want to skip those either. So naps and feedings tend to take up quite a lot of time in a mother’s day. Thankfully the time requirement for these things lessens as the child grows. However, it still makes it difficult to spend time with other people during the day, especially when there’s an older child who also would like to be noticed and entertained. It seems like it’d be easy to hang out with people once the children are in bed for the night but then you also want to spend time with your spouse. And you have to alternate evening activities with said spouse so that you can both get some adult time while the kids are properly supervised. Yes, there are babysitters but they can be quite expensive so we don’t use them willy-nilly. We are one of those families who don’t live near family so babysitting is our only option when we want to go out together (or at the same time – though usually if we’re both out of the house we are together (see cost of babysitting)).

I say all of that to say PRAISE THE LORD for women who are willing to work with my family’s schedule and hang out with me at my house or with the kids in tow. Before children, my best friend and I would get together whenever the mood hit us. I had every other evening or weekend to spend time with the hubs so scheduling was much easier and carefree. 

When BB was born I was holed up in the house for a few months getting used to parenting and scheduling for a baby. I was grateful for those who brought by meals for us and would stay to chat for a bit. When you only have one child, and it’s a baby, the daily conversation can be quite lacking. I did start going to a mom’s group which was nice because everyone else had small children so no one cared about crying babies and are schedules were similar.

When BB was older my friend and I still wanted to get together for meaningful conversation. Sometimes we would meet for lunch or somewhere BB could play or be a little rowdy. Often times, she’d come over and have lunch at my house. We eventually started meeting during BB’s nap time at my house so that we could talk distraction-free. I am so grateful for her willingness to meet at times and locations that worked best for my season of life.

I have found that to continue to be the case as our house has grown to four members. It’s slightly more challenging with one who can talk in addition to a baby and his schedule. Thankfully, compassionate women have willingly met me and my crew at kid-friendly locations and patiently endured interruptions from my peanut gallery, some even kindly being stamped and stickered by BB.

This past Sunday at church a woman I am beginning to get to know offered to meet me and the kids at a park to hang out and talk. It means so much to me when others are considerate of my situation and reach out to bless me with friendship and adult time. These are the people that strengthen and encourage me as a wife, mother, and woman of God. It reminded me off all of the times women have done this in my three and a half years as a mom. I hope that I will remember how much these offerings of friendship mean to me once I have passed through this season so that I, too, will be able to do the same for other young mothers.

Have you had people in your life who have reached out to you in a specific season of your life and given you strength and encouragement? I’d love to hear your experience!