My Goals for 2017

  Last year I was fairly ambitious with my goal setting. I was not successful in keeping them all perfectly, but the real aim is improvement and growth. Normally I would beat myself up for failure but I have been growing in my understanding and acceptance of grace.

  Last year I also learned more about trusting God and the importance of rest. I still struggle with choosing rest over productivity at times but I am seeing the benefits of resting and trying to rest in the knowledge that my worth and value and acceptance are not based on achievement. I have subtitled 2017: The Year of Less. With all of that said, this year’s goal list is short.

1. Call one family member each week.

  For some people this is something that is a regular part of their life. That is not the case for me. My family is spread out, mostly on the western side of the country. I see some of them about once per year. My immediate family has never really been one for regular communication – we don’t have a history of contacting one another unless there’s something important to share. Since I’ve had kids, we have had a little more frequent contact, mainly Facetime/Skype so my parents can see the grandkids. But anyone with small children can tell you that not a lot of important information is able to be communicated while conversing with toddlers and preschoolers.

Facetime with my niece

  Last year I struggled a lot with loneliness and a desire for greater community. I realized that I could do something to feel more connected with my family members – more regular communication. I’m not a huge fan of talking on the phone (part introvert, part distraction from my kids), but it’s the most effective option for me at this time. I would like to feel like I am more aware of what’s going on with my family and hope that this will improve our intimacy and connectedness. 

  I have thus far called a different family member each week and have enjoyed catching up. I can tell it surprised them to have me call randomly. One person was concerned that something was wrong because I was calling them (proof I should call more often). I think I will enjoy this goal very much. Even if I don’t manage to connect with someone weekly, I will benefit from more regular contact however frequent it ends up being.
2. One date night with my husband each month.

  Again, I realize that some may see this as a low bar, something they easily achieve. Once again, not for me. It’s not that we struggle with wanting to spend time together away from the kids. We enjoy date nights. In the past our schedules have been too full to have time for a date. We also have to find a babysitter every time because we don’t have family nearby. With finding a babysitter, our date night costs are greater than we’d like sometimes. But money should not be what keeps us from having some fun, maybe even an adventure, to keep us connected.

  It helps that our kids are older and easy to babysit. They’re practically self-sufficient. Having it as a goal will hopefully helps us to keep date night a priority in our minds. We’ve already had to reschedule January’s date three times (once for weather, once for a change in plans, once for babysitter conflict). Not a huge deal as we haven’t settled on an official plan. I am finding it humorous (and not surprising) that the first one is taking so much time and effort. The enemy enjoys trying to thwart our efforts. Knowing there are eleven other dates to plan is helping me to think of things we could do or places we could go for a different experience. It is exciting!
  Additionally, we are working toward going on a couple’s vacation this year. We haven’t had a real vacation without the kids since before we had kids (so at least 7 years). We did have a day trip in Sedona and a couple of days in Yellowstone a few years back but I’m talking about taking a plane somewhere where we’re completely out of contact for a bit. I’m definitely looking forward to this!

  So those are my official goals for the year. It appears the focus is on relationships. It seems like a natural segue after all of my loneliness talk last year. I felt that these goals were Spirit-led so I am excited to see what happens.

  I do still want to work on blogging more regularly and being present with my family at home. There are always a myriad of possible improvements in my life but I recognize that I don’t have to do it all at once (or, actually, do it all period). I’m also still going to make sure reading is a regular part of my life as it’s something that helps me relax and refresh but I don’t have a set goal for books this year.

  I do also have a goal (desire) to finish my book revisions and have it available online before May. It has a deadline so it’s a little different from my regular goals. We will see how that goes.

What are your goals for 2017? Have you made so many that you feel overwhelmed before you started? Perhaps cut the goals in half (or by half)? Remember the spirit of setting goals – motivation to work on something you want to improve in your life.

Top 5 Nonfiction Books of 2016

I read so many books this year that I thought it would be fun to rank my top five of all I read this year in the two major categories: fiction and non-fiction. Check out my top five fiction reads post as well. Below are my top five non-fiction books read in 2016.

1. Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst

  I borrowed this book from the library and loved the book so much that I bought a copy and will be participating in a DVD study this winter with some other ladies. This book resonated so much with me and where I have been the past year. It brought some healing to my heart and helped me to see some circumstances through a new perspective. If you have ever felt left out, rejected, or set aside this book is definitely for you.

  Lysa TerKeurst shares her experiences of feeling lonely or left out and the things she has learned from God as she’s walked through a variety of circumstances and experiences. I appreciated her candidness and the honesty of admitting that she is not completely through this struggle. Lysa encourages us to lean into God and trust that he has good plans and purposes for us. One of the things that stuck with me was to consider that when I feel set aside God might actually have me set apart instead. These pearls of wisdom helped me so much and filled me with hope and faith for my present and future.

2. Listen, Love, Repeat: Other-Centered Living in a Self-Centered World by Karen Ehman

  This was another book I enjoyed so much that I had to purchase a copy so that I could re-read it. I received a kindle copy for purposes of reading, reviewing and promoting the book, but this was one I wanted to be able to highlight and pick up to re-read various sections as needed. The subtitle was what really got my attention. I hadn’t read anything by Karen Ehman but, after reading this book, that will change.

  Karen Ehman reminds us that part of our calling as Christians is to love others. In Listen, Love, Repeat she gives us advice and examples of how to love others well. She talks about truly listening to others and hearing the “heartdrops”. The book really inspired me to find ways to love and serve others. I think it would challenge and inspire you as well.

3. The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful by Myquillyn Smith

  I heard about this book from Jen Hatmaker on her Instagram account. Jen showed a picture of something Myquillyn had made in her house and she copied for her writing office. It was a beautiful book page wreath and I was intrigued. I checked the book out of my library and LOVED it.

  Myquillyn Smith does an excellent job of making the average person feel that she can have a beautiful home regardless of her decorating skills. She reminds us that beautiful is not synonymous with perfect. Perfect should not be our goal (nor is it particularly possible if you have kids or want to enjoy living in your home). But making it a home filled with things that you love, bring you joy and help you feel relaxed and at home will do the same for those who visit as well.

  If you struggle with not wanting to do something because it might not be perfect, this is the book for you. Myquillyn encourages us to just try something little like painting a bathroom or a $10 dresser you found at Goodwill and see what you think. If you don’t like it, you can repaint and try again.

4. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It’s Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature While Remaining Emotionally Immature by Peter Scazzero

  I heard about this book on an episode of The Happy Hour by Jamie Ivey podcast. Her guest said that this was a book she was recommending everyone to read. I love Christian non-fiction book so I added it to my to-read list. 

  Emotionally Healthy Spirituality is so good! It is open, honest and encouraging. It has practical advice on how to grow in your emotional health including prompts to help you see where you are on your journey and exercises to practice. It is a wonderful book that I highlighted extensively and will be referencing again. 

  The book reminds us that emotions are not our enemy. It is true that we should not let them rule, but they are excellent indicators that something is not right and needs to be addressed. I appreciated Peter Scazzero’s vulnerability in sharing examples of his own journey toward emotionally healthy spirituality. 

5. Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: How One Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life’s Biggest Yes by Kristen Welch

  This was the first book I finished in 2016 so some of the details are a bit fuzzy a year later. However I remember being very encouraged as a mother and person after finishing this book.

  As a parent I know that I have plenty of room to grow. Let’s face it, it’s a learn-as-you-go, trial and error kind of job (shhh, don’t tell my kids!). I welcome resources that can help me reach my parenting goals (raising responsible kids who love Jesus and serve others). The end of each chapter in this book has a “take away” section that is divided by age range for kids so you can implement any valuable suggestions in an age appropriate manner (so helpful!).

  In addition to being encouraged that it is possible to teach our children gratitude and contentment I was also reminded that I am not responsible for my children’s entertainment every waking hour of the day (which, as a SAHM, I sometimes feel like that’s part of the job description and can feel guilty about trying to get housework or errands done instead of playing with my kids non-stop).  

  If you are a parent and you desire for your children to love Jesus and others and grow into people who are considerate of others and actively serve others, this will help you to introduce them to service and be encouraged in your endeavors to raise kind, considerate, generous, loving people.

I read so many wonderful non-fiction books in 2016 it was very challenging choosing a top five. I look forward to discovering more fantastic books in 2017. Have you read any of these the books on the list? Have any recommendations that you think might make my 2017 top five? If you are more of a fiction person, check out my favorites from 2016.

Top 5 Fiction Books of 2016

I read so many books this year that I thought it would be fun to rank my top five of all I read this year in the two major categories: fiction and non-fiction. Check out my top five non-fiction reads post as well. Below are my favorite fiction reads in 2016.

1. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

  I have read five of Liane Moriarty’s books and this one has been my favorite of them all (I haven’t read The Last Anniversary or Truly Madly Guilty yet but I plan to). They have all been very engaging.

  In Big Little Lies we learn that there has someone has been killed and there is an investigation and lots of speculation from parents of an elementary school. The book then rewinds six months and introduces us to the three main women in the book. We learn about their friendship, their lives and their secrets.

  As I read the book I was constantly guessing who might have died and who the murder might have been. I became so enamored with the characters that I hoped none of them was the victim nor the culprit. I was surprised by the actual sequence of events which I appreciated as the reader. It was quite an enjoyable ride that I think others would enjoy taking as well.

2. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

  I don’t remember how I heard about this book. I feel like I had heard that it was a book about a character similar to Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, which is a show I thoroughly enjoy.

  In The Rosie Project, we meet Don Tillman, a geneticist at a local university who has decided that he would like to try to find a wife. He creates a lengthy questionnaire to find the perfect candidate for “The Wife Project” and enlists the help of his good friend, and fellow university professor, Gene in reading the questionnaires and selecting women. Gene lets him know that he is sending a woman to his office indicating that she is a candidate for his wife project.

  Don soon learns that she is not a seemingly suitable candidate but she asks for help in locating her biological father and he agrees. He soon begins to enjoy his time with Rosie even though she knocks his seemingly perfect and scheduled life completely out of whack. We see Don wrestle with what he really wants or needs in his life and try to figure out if he can truly understand and experience love. If you like The Big Bang Theory, I think you would enjoy this book.

3. At Home in Mitford by Jan Karon

  I was introduced to this series (and have now read three of the thirteen books) by a good friend. The book takes place in a small town called Mitford, NC and follows Episcopalian priest Tim Kavanaugh through his everyday life – his experiences with the people and parishioners in this quaint mountain town.

  All of the characters are endearing and I was drawn into their lives and the town’s happenings. I was especially intrigued when Father Tim received a new neighbor who was quirky, spontaneous and whom he found attractive. Can a 50-something bachelor change his routine and life to allow another soul entrance and home? This question won’t be completely answered in the first book, but, if you’re like me, you’ll soon be entrenched in finding out what continues to happen in this little town of Mitford.

4. The Girl in the Spider’s Web by David Lagercrantz

  This is the fourth book in Stieg Larsson’s series that started with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I really enjoyed reading all of those books – they were fast paced and action-packed. I was curious to see how the series continued with a new author. I was not disappointed.

  In this one, a well-known computer programmer who mysteriously left his company in California and returned to Sweden contacts Mikael Blomkvist and asks to meet him so that he can share some information he received from a young female hacker. Mikael is intrigued because he thinks Lisbeth Salander might be involved. As he reaches the contact’s house, an assassin emerges having just killed the person in question. The only witness is the victim’s autistic son. Mikael begins looking into the events, eliciting Lisbeth’s assistance.

  Who is behind the murder? What was the information important enough to kill and be killed for? What is Lisbeth’s role in everything? If you enjoyed the previous ones, as I did, you will also enjoy this thrill ride with lots of twists and turns.

5. Inferno by Dan Brown

  This is the fourth book in the Robert Langdon series. I did not read the third book but I don’t seem to have missed any vital information needed for this one. It was another face-paced adventure through several European countries (I always enjoy the history, architectural and art information each book contains), mainly Italy.

  When the story begins Robert wakes up in a hospital with a head wound and no memory of the last few days. He believes he was shot in the head. As he’s trying to gain his bearings, an assassin comes after him in the hospital and one of the doctor’s assisting him helps him escape. When they are briefly safely in the doctor’s apartment, she shares with him what she knows and they discover an object he was hiding in his coat. It becomes a clue they follow to try to gain back his memory and discover what is so threatening that his life is in danger. He fears he is responsible for something terrible because he can only remember mumbling “I’m sorry”.

  It was a fast-paced, exciting ride. There were unexpected revelations and discoveries throughout the story. I rooted for Lagndon and his partner, Doctor Sienna Brooks to discover and thwart the threat. If you have enjoyed Dan Brown’s other Robert Langdon novels, this one won’t disappoint.

These were my five favorite fiction reads from last year. What is one you read that you would recommend? Have you read any of the above? If so, please share your thoughts with me as well. To see my favorite non-fiction books of 2016, click here.

No More Faking Fine

  I had the privilege of receiving an Advance Reading Copy of the book No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending by Esther Fleece. The title is what intrigued me as I often feel like I am unable to be real about struggles or tough times in my life. I know that we need to be wise about who we share deeper things with but sometimes I get a little frustrated by the shallowness of many church relationships and interactions. I wondered if this book would talk about being more real in interpersonal relationships.

Created by Katie Gibson

  In the book Esther Fleece introduces us to the practice of lament, a prayer to God “giving voice to the hurt, frustration, and disappointment you’ve kept inside and silenced for too long.” I was definitely intrigued to learn more about what it means to lament and the promise of increased intimacy with God and others. I really enjoyed the book and would like to share some of my favorite quotes.

God meets us where we are at and not where we pretend to be.

  I like this quote for several reasons. We are reminded that we do not have to clean ourselves up or reach a certain level of righteousness before God will accept us. God just wants our heart, regardless of its condition. He is the one that will work in us to make us more holy. This quote also reminds me that we can’t hide anything from God. He sees the inner workings of our bodies. He knows all of our thoughts. There’s no point pretending we’re fine with God because he sees right through our pretenses. We are, therefore, free to be real and honest, even when it’s raw and ugly.

What a kind God we have, who has warned us that pain in this life will come and has given us a language to relate to Him in the midst of it…When we begin to understand God as a God who weeps, we begin to see Him as someone safe to run to in the midst of our pain.

  It is actually comforting to be assured that pain is inevitable. We should not be surprised when hurts or challenges come. This world is broken and pain is one of the results of that. However, we can be confident in knowing that we can bring our hurts and struggles and negative emotions to him. He will not reject us or be offended. He loves us and wants us to bring him our pain so that he can provide healing.

We are going to have to stop comparing our pain to others and learn instead to take our pain directly to God, or we simply won’t get anywhere…”It’s not really a big deal” are words we will never hear out of the mouth of God.

  I know I am guilty of sometimes thinking that I have no right to be sad or complain because there are many people that have it worse than I do. There are probably people who would love to have my “problems” is sometimes the track in my head. But I was reminded that just because it might be small, it still exists and it still matters to God. He can heal things big and small. He just wants us to turn to him and come to the one who can comfort and heal.

Without the ability to fully lament, I also had no ability to fully forgive. And without forgiveness, I had no option but to live within my own vicious cycle of pain and bitterness.

  I like this reminder that we have to acknowledge our hurts and process them in order to be able to move into forgiveness. Many of us try to sweep things under the rug and avoid really looking at them and feeling our emotions because we don’t want to deal with the pain. But ignoring it just allows the hurt to fester and bitterness to grow. Yes, the process of lament might be painful, but it’s better than continuing to ignore an open wound.

I believe forgiveness to be just as much an act of God as His grace is. We need God’s help to forgive, and we need a heavenly perspective to shift our focus off us and back on to God and His help. 

  I really loved the truth in this. I do often struggle with wanting to forgive but not really feeling like I am able. And here I am reminded that I am not supposed to try to do it alone, that it requires his help for true forgiveness. It comforts me to know that it’s a partnership with God.

It takes courage to rest when the world sees productivity, full-throttle hustling, and chasing big dreams as things of ultimate value. It takes emotional and spiritual maturity to choose to opt out of these things temporarily and take care of your soul. 

  I struggled a lot last year with learning to rest. I always felt so unproductive and lazy. I am slowly learning that rest is necessary and can actually accomplish a lot of important stuff if I will trust God and his purposes. I am continuing to work on being wise with my time and activities this year. I have half-jokingly titled 2017 “The Year of Less”.

  These were some of my favorite quotes from the book. It’s official release date is this coming Tuesday, January 10th. If you pre-order it before then, there are a bunch of extra freebies for you. I would recommend making this part of your reading list for 2017!

The Word of the Year

  The beginning of a new year is often a flurry of activity for many people: resolutions and goals, reflecting on the past year, planning out the year ahead. In the past several years I have become aware of a large segment of people having a word of the year – a word that tells what they hope the year will bring, perhaps something to remind them of their focus and goals. It seems to have brought meaning to a lot of people.

  This year I thought it would be neat to have a word and see how it applies to my life throughout the year. Last year I felt God was asking me to TRUST and REST and so I was learning to live in those two words, though it wasn’t something I set about working on.

  I don’t really know how most people choose a word. I pondered something that would encompass an area I desired to grow in. At first I thought BELOVED would be good so that I could learn to be secure in the identity I have in Christ. I was praying about it in the early hours of the new year as I was trying to fall asleep. The word TRUTH stood out in my mind. It doesn’t seem like a typical word – there’s no real action to be taken (like COURAGE or BRAVE or UNSTOPPABLE). It seems kind of “eh”. So I prayed God, is this what you’d like me to focus on this year? Is this my focus for the year – truth? And I think it is.

  I am quickly warming up to the word TRUTH. I am looking forward to studying the word, mainly in scripture. I know that God’s word is truth. Jesus says that he is the truth. I am looking forward to really digging into truth. I know our society likes to say that truth is relative, that there is no absolute truth, that each person makes their own truth. I don’t really agree with that so I am excited to set down some truth for me to anchor myself to and have firm footing.

  In addition to studying TRUTH in scripture, I think I am also supposed to work on speaking TRUTH (in love, of course). I have been a people pleaser for years, the underlying fear being rejection. I have been learning that I have an everlasting love in Christ so I do not need to fear being rejected by people. I will always be loved and accepted and valued in Jesus. So I would like to be more true to myself – honest about my thoughts, likes, dislikes, desires. I don’t want to temper enthusiasm for fear of the buzz kills out there. I want to be able to express joy and disappointment and anticipation and not worry about what others may think or say.

  I am excited for the year ahead and excited to see what is in store. I know many people also choose a Bible verse for their year. I wonder if it’s related to their word. It’s probably a hope or reminder as well. I would like to do this, but I think I will wait for one to emerge from my study of truth in scripture.

Do you have a special word or verse for 2017? I’d love to hear what it is!